Thursday, June 16, 2011

Forever Daddy's Girl

Because Father's Day is coming up, I thought of importing an old post that I had on my Friendster page.  Looking through that blog made me reminisce a lot about the time when hubby and I started going out up to the time we started a family... Looking back, I would never trade places with anyone.  I am perfectly happy where I am today.

Being the youngest in a family of five and a carbon copy of my father, it comes as no surprise to many that I am my dad’s pet …the favorite …the apple of his eye … daddy’s little girl.  My brothers and sisters, all being mature adults that they are now have already conceded defeat in that aspect.  Sorry guys…  tough luck!  Hehehe

I’ve not been the best daughter though - having had quite a share of fits, bratty/bitchy tantrums (depending on my age then), and whatever crazy stuff you could expect from a child trying to gain her independence and leave a so-called mark in the world. 
Through it all he’d just be there, quietly watching - never failing to show his support whenever he can.  It was therefore difficult later to on watch what I used to recall as a gentle but strappy and energetic hero slowly deteriorate into a frail and helpless man.  Gone were the times he and I would engage in a tickling frenzy or when we would share secret signals and end up trying hard not to laugh so that the others won’t notice.  Rather than him giving me advice on what to do at work we would often find him staring blankly into thin space - somewhat like being in a world all of his own. We would make efforts to include him in our dinner table conversations, trying hard to be patient in deciphering what he was struggling to say.  But it was no longer like before.  Age does that to everyone.  As children, it never crosses our minds that someday rather than having our parents taking care of us, the tables would turn and they will be the ones dependent on us for their simple needs. It was difficult and it was heartbreaking - to have to see a stalwart idol slowly breaking before your very own eyes.  Through it all, my father succeeded in doing something that he had wanted to do all these years - and that is to bring the family closer to one another.

My dad is no longer with us but we take consolation in the fact that where he is now, there is no more pain or suffering - only peace and comfort.  Sadly however, I will never get my wish that he be the one to walk me down the aisle.  But I know that wherever I may be, whatever I do, my dad will always be with me.  He (and my mom of course) made me the person I am today and person I will become until I pass on from this life.  The love my dad has given us has made a great difference in our lives and even though I’m all grown up now, in my heart he will always be my "daddy" and  I will never be ashamed of the fact that 
I am a Daddy’s Girl. 

Love you Dad and I miss you so, so much.

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